How to Have a Happy Writing Life

How to Be a Happy WriterBooks are often labors of love. We work on them never knowing if they’ll see the light of day. Ultimately, it’s up to us to make those books happen. We have to make time for them and we have to take on the responsibility of completing them. And in the end, no matter how hard we work and how much time we put in, there’s no way to know if what you’ve written is good enough to be shared, published, or otherwise appreciated by readers. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy writing life.

Writing a book can be a lot of pressure, and it can suck you dry just as much as it can invigorate you.

But here’s the thing to remember: this writing life is YOURS. You decide how much pressure you put on yourself and you can decide to shift yourself and your perspective in such a way that you’re happy with the writing life you’re living, no matter where you are in your writing journey. You can decide to build a happy writing life no matter where you are on the journey.

Here are ten decisions you can make to make a happy writing life for yourself:

1) You can decide your writing matters

The rest of the world may tell you your writing doesn’t matter unless it’s published or unless you win some contest. You can decide you don’t need someone else’s validation. You can decide your work matters simply because you’ve written it.

2) You can decide what success is

Again, it’s easy to think of “success” as being published or winning awards. And sure, that’s one version of success. But the problem with those definitions is that they are out of your hands. You are, effectively, letting other people decide when you’ve succeeded. That’s setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, you can decide to define success as not giving up, which is really the only thing you can control. You can decide that every day you show up, and every day you work on what’s within your control, you’re succeeding. Maybe it’s not the dream (yet) but it can sustain you.

3) You can set your timeline (and maybe consider not setting a timeline)

You are the one who sets your writing life timeline. You decide at what age or how far off you’d like to be published by. Which means you don’t actually have to set a timeline! Similar to the point above, if you build a timeline you’re putting an awful lot of weight on other people’s actions. Those are actions you can’t control. Setting a timeline around them can be demoralizing if things don’t go the way you plan. Instead, make a manageable timeline for the work you’re going to do on your own stories, not the things you want to happen as a result. Focus on that instead. And if things get off track, don’t sweat it! The benefit of creating your own timeline is that you can adjust it as you need to. It’s only a source of stress and pressure if you decide it is.

4) You can decide that your progress matters

It’s easy to get caught up in not being “finished” and it’s easy to get caught up in the work you have in front of you. But you can decide the work you’ve done so far is worth celebrating, and you can decide the progress you’ve made matters more than the work you still have to do. The Mayo Clinic actually has an article on the importance so focusing on progress over perfection.

5) You can decide the journey is more important

In real life, I’m really not one for “traveling.” I hate the journey and I’m all about the destination. But when it comes to writing I’m the opposite. You can decide the journey and the experience you have writing your book matters more than the end result. You can decide that the act of creating means more than the act of sharing, and decide that sharing (and publishing) is a lovely perk.

6) You can decide the intangible benefits of writing matter more than the tangible ones

I don’t know about you, but I write because of how I feel when I do it. I was prepared to write for the rest of my life whether I ever got published or not. I realized fairly early on that writing made me a happier and more fulfilled person, whether anyone else liked what I was writing or not. Because how I feel and what writing does for me is so much more important than a tangible benefit I can point to.

7) You can decide to commit to your writing

You can decide to make writing a priority at any point. No one else will do it for you. You can decide to get up a half hour earlier or spend your lunch break on your computer instead of with your co-workers. You can make as much or as little time for writing as you want. For more on this, check out this post!

8) You can decide to make time for non-writing activities (guilt free!)

You don’t have to chain yourself to your desk to call yourself a writer. You can (and should) spend time with family, friends, or even your tv screen without feeling like you should be writing. Granted, you can’t blow off writing for this kind of stuff all the time, but balance is important. You need it to have experiences and emotions to write about.

9) You can decide to write for you

You can decide that telling yourself a story your love is more important than telling a story every reader may love. And you can decide to trust that if you love what you’re writing, readers like you will love it too.

10) You can decide your best is enough

You can decide that the work you’ve done is good enough, regardless of what anyone else says. And you can decide that the work you’re doing now is good enough to help you grow, whether it gets you where you want to be right now or not. For more on this, check out the post linked above!

I hope this helps you have a happy writing life!

Now it’s your turn: What helps you make a happy writing life? Tell me about it in the comments!

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How to Regroup When Writing Plans Get Derailed

How to Regroup when Your writing Plans Get derailedIf you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know I’m a big believer in writing plans and writing goals. Writing plans and goals are important. It’s how we can stay motivated and move our projects forward. But sometimes, things don’t always go as planned. If one day gets off track, it might be easy to catch up, but if its a series of days, it can be a lot harder. And I’ve found that the harder it is to catch up, the more intimidating the entire task is, and it gets really easy to want to give up and walk away from it all.

This post is designed to cut off that overwhelming feeling that comes with falling behind on your writing plans and help you get back on track!

1) Take a timeout

Before you do anything, just take a second to breathe. Take a moment to understand what went wrong. If it was simply, “life happened” then don’t put any more thought into it. If, perhaps, you got too ambitious and tried to do too much too fast, make note of that so you don’t make the same mistake again. Also during this timeout, let go of any old plans and expectations. We’re resetting and starting fresh!

2) Assess where you are

Julia Cameron likes to say, “start where you are.” It’s good advice, especially in a situation like this. But first, you have to figure out where exactly you are. Take a moment to take inventory of where you and your project are at. How much of your old plan where you able to accomplish? Where exactly did you stop? This will become your new starting point.

3) Assess what you have left to do

Make a list of the tasks you still have to tackle. With each task, also list actionable steps you need to complete in order to accomplish the task. For example, one task might be “Fix main plot.” Some actionable steps you can do might be, “Identify the current problem, brainstorm a solution, outline scenes to work in the solution, add scenes into book.”

While it’s always helpful to break your problems down into action steps like this, I think it’s even more important after your previous plan falls through. It forces you to really slow down and make sure you’re allowing enough time for each step, which heightens the chance that you won’t be frustrated and disappointed by a plan twice in a row.

4) Prioritize

This step is two-fold. First, prioritize your tasks. The biggest and most important should go first. If you prioritize smaller tasks just because they’re easier and will give you some sense of accomplishment, you’re setting yourself up to waste time. Bigger tasks impact more of your project, which means sometimes the bigger task with either fix a smaller task or alter the course of a smaller task. If you tend to a smaller task first, there’s a chance your bigger task will force you to rewrite and change that smaller task twice.

Second, make a commitment to prioritize your new and improved plan. Sure, sometimes interferences are unavoidable, but sometimes they are. If someone or something is trying to take you away from your writing goals, give yourself a second to assess before you walk away from your story. Ask yourself: “Am I really the only person who can solve this problem? Is the problem truly urgent?” If the answer to these questions is “no” then don’t give up your writing time. Let someone else handle it or take it on after you finished your writing.

5) Make a new plan

Be realistic! If your first plan fell through because you over planned, scale back your daily goals. You’re better off moving a little slower, taking a little longer and actually finishing, than continually getting overwhelmed and falling behind. And if you got derailed because of some new recurring time commitment or lifestyle change, take that into consideration. One trick that helps me stay realistic is to first give an honest assessment of how much time I think I may need for a task, then, if at all possible, I give myself time and a half to complete it. So, if I think I’ll need two days to fix a plot, I plan to give myself three. This gives me a cushion and keeps me from falling behind. At best, it only takes me two days and I can get ahead of schedule.

6) Focus on one task at a time

When you get back to work, stay focused on the task at hand. Try to put aside all the work you still have to do, and all of the people or things that need your attention. When you are working on your book, the only thing that matters is your book. I’ve found that fifteen minutes of total focus is more productive than thirty when my mind is half on something else. This is also something to keep in mind while you’re making your new plan. If the only solid half hour you have to write means you’ll have to multitask, try to find ten or fifteen minutes when you don’t instead. Of course, every writer is different and this may not work for you, but I definitely think it’s worth trying out!

I hope this helps you regroup when your writing plans get derailed!

Now it’s your turn: What do you do when your writing plans get derailed? What tips have you borrowed from others? Tell me about it in the comments!

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When Writing Your Novel Feels Overwhelming: 7 Tips

When writing your novel feels overwhelmingWriting a novel can unquestionably be overwhelming at times. It’s a massive undertaking, and there’s a ton of work that goes into writing a book, with no guarantees of a positive outcome. Some things that may cause your project to feel overwhelming include feeling lost in your story, getting behind on your goals, realizing you have so much work ahead of you, realizing your book needs more work than your thought, being told your work isn’t good enough, and so much more.

Here are seven tips to help you when writing feels overwhelming:

1) Take a break

Binge watch your favorite show, read, spend time with family/friends, spend time outside, or do anything that relaxes you and helps you reset. It might be tempting to guilt yourself while you take this break or chastise yourself for “wasting writing time.” But you’re not wasting writing time, you’re recharging. It will only be a true “break” if let yourself off the hook and give yourself permission to enjoy this activity and clear your mind. Coming back to your project with a clean slate may be just what you need to chase to overwhelm away. It’ll give you the opportunity to clear out everything that’s bringing you down, then when you come back to your project, you can reassess and prioritize.

2) Start where you are

This is a key philosophy in Julia Cameron’s book, The Right to Write. Don’t think about your entire project. Don’t even think about all the work you have ahead of you. Start where you are and take one step forward. Then take another. You can write an entire book this way. Overwhelm is more likely to set in when you look at the picture. So don’t look at the big picture until you’ve finished.

3) Make a new plan

If part of your overwhelm came from falling behind on your goals and plans, take a time out and make a new plan. I’m a big believer in making plans, setting goals, and doing your best to stick to them, but sometimes you have to make adjustments. You’re better off creating a new plan/goal that you can reasonably reach than struggling to catch up and getting discouraged. It may feel like you’re regressing or admitting defeat, but you’re not. You’re creating consistency, and that’s what will help you finish your book. You’re better off planning to write 500 words a day every day and hitting that mark than planning on 1,000 and falling behind. For more, check out why you should set reasonable writing goals and how to set reasonable writing goals.

4) Spend less time on social media

One problem with social media is how cultivated it is. People often share the good stuff over the problems they might be having. It can be easy to look at the social media feeds of your friends and acquaintances and think things are great for them. And if you’re struggling with your book, something you’re putting your heart and soul into, seeing everyone succeeding online might add to the overwhelm.

I’ve also found that the more I take in from others, the harder it is to focus on what I want to say and write. Or, as a friend once put it, too much input makes it hard to produce output. Take some time off social media and give yourself the space to think and create. This has helped me so much that I’ve cut back on social media across the board. It’s helped me be more centered, focused, and keeps overwhelm at bay.

5) Notice what’s discouraging you and step away

Sometimes, overwhelming feelings can be triggared by discouraging or negative forces in your life. Whether it’s someone telling you that “you can’t do this” or it’s yourself, looking up “how to get published” and panicking, negativity can make your project feel bigger or harder than it is. This can, in turn, make you overwhelmed. If you need to stop yourself from going to a certain site, most web browsers have a site blocker extension you can add on to help you stay away. If it’s a person, do your best not to talk about writing with this person. And if that person asks you questions, you can say something like, “I don’t like to talk about my projects until they’re finished.” Do whatever you have to in order to protect your writing and creativity.

6) Work on a different project for a bit

This is one of my favorite tricks! Not only does it cure writing overwhelm, but also writer’s block and other plot problems. If you’re anything like me, you write because you love it. Having a low-pressure side project always helps bring me back to why I write and takes my mind off whatever problems I’m having with my main project, including overwhelm. Often when I go back to the project causing me problems, it feels so much more manageable. For more on this, check out this post.

7) Talk to other writers

Every writer I know has felt overwhelmed by their projects at one point or another. Sharing stories and knowing you’re not alone in this can be a powerful way to push through. Not only that, your writer friend may have a tip or trick to help you navigate to a situation. I’m not on facebook, but I hear they have some great writer support groups. If you’re looking for writer friends in real life, consider taking a writing class at a library, community center, or local college. For more on the importance of writerly friendships, check out this post by my writer friend, Julie Eshbaugh.

I hope this helps you when writing feels overwhelming!

Now it’s your turn: What do you do when writing feels overwhelming? Do you have any tips and tricks to share? Tell me about it in the comments!

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5 Reasons Why Your Best Writing is Good Enough

Why Your Best Writing is Good EnoughThis post is inspired by two of my favorite people on the internet: Erin Motz and Courtney Carver. One of the reasons I like them both so much is because they both preach a similar belief that your best is good enough. This philosophy can absolutely apply to writing. Your best writing is good enough!

There are two elements to this philosophy. First, it’s okay to work really hard without running yourself into the ground. It’s okay to give just 100% and not 110%. Second, it’s okay to let yourself off the hook when you work really hard, yet things don’t go how you wanted to. There are a lot of moving parts in the world. There are things that are outside your control. If you can say that you did your best with what was within your control, don’t tell yourself that you should have worked harder. It’s okay to accept where you’re at and know you will learn and grow from there. 

Writers worry all the time that their best work isn’t good enough. They worry it’s not good enough to be published or to even be read. They worry it’s just flat out not good. And I’ll be honest–maybe it’s not good enough for those things–at least not yet. But your best should be good enough for you. Accepting where I’m at has helped me to both grow and to endure the judgment of others.

With that in mind, here are four reasons why accepting this idea will help your writing life:

1) Every time you write you’ll get better

That’s just how writing works. There’s no sense in being angry or frustrated because your work isn’t as good as you want it to be. If it’s your best work, then it’s good enough and you’ll learn from it. Then the next time you write, you’ll get better. It’s a natural progression. As much as it sucks, you can’t skip steps. You become a better writer by writing. If you consistently get frustrated that you’re not a better writer, there is a better chance that you’ll get discouraged and quit. If you can honestly say you’ve given a project the best you had on any given day (and what you have in you may vary) then you should celebrate that! You will only get better with time.

2) You will live a more balanced life

Consistently trying to give more than your best to your writing is a sure fire way to burn out. It’s also a sure fire way to live a lopsided life. If you give more than your best, then it means you’re giving all of the energy you have (plus maybe some you don’t) to your writing. It’s unhealthy, unsustainable, and you miss out on a lot. Family is important. Friends are important. Trying to be better than your best is draining and leaves nothing left for any other area of your life. And I’ve found that when I let my best be enough and have more energy for other things, it actually makes me a better writer. It keeps me fresh, and it allows me to walk away from my work before it becomes all-consuming. This makes it easier for me to keep my work in perspective and solve problems.

3) It takes the pressure off and frees your mind

There’s a pressure that comes with always having to be better. It’s a pressure that can seep into your productivity and make it hard to move forward. You question every idea you have. It can become debilitating and make finishing a chapter nearly impossible. When you let yourself accept that your best is good enough, it takes away some of that pressure. You no longer have to push yourself beyond your limits. You give yourself permission to do your best and be okay with whatever comes out. It takes away the expectations. And when you do that, you unlock something in your creative brain that can help bring your story to life in a way you never considered–at least, that’s been my experience.

4) It makes it easier to take criticism in stride

Every writer gets some form of criticism. Accepting that your best is good enough is one way to keep criticism from tearing you down. I have found that when I can acknowledge that I did the very best I possibly could on a book, it makes rejection easier. Because I am happy with what I did and I know it was not possible for me to do any better. Maybe the rejectors and critics have a point. Maybe they don’t. Either way, I know I’ve given a book everything I’ve got. I can’t ask any more of myself. And I know that the first point of this post will come into play and next time I will do better. For more on managing criticism, check out this post.

5) It’s all you can do

At the end of the day, your best is what you have. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to be better than your best. It’s one thing to challenge yourself. That’s how you grow. It’s another thing to expect more of yourself than you are physically and/or mentally capable of. That’s how you run yourself into the ground. Excepting your best isn’t a cop out and it’s not slacking off. It’s taking care of yourself and putting yourself in the best situation to succeed. It’s helping you to build a healthy and sustainable writing life. Give yourself that gift. Your writing will thank you.

I hope that helps you see why your best writing is good enough!

Now it’s your turn: Have you ever put too much pressure on yourself to be better than your best? What’s helped you combat that impulse? Tell me about it in the comments!

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7 Habits for a Successful Writing Session: Writing Tips

Seven Habits for a Successful Writing SessionStaying consistently productive isn’t easy, but it’s a key component to building a happy writing life. So, how can we have a productive writing session day after day?

Today I’m sharing seven habits that help me have consistently successful writing sessions. Ultimately, like most things in writing, you’re going to have to take the time to figure out what works for you. But these seven tips are a good place to start.

1) Eat good food

And by this, I mean healthy food. Avoid the chocolate and the sugar. I know it might be nice to reward yourself with a treat while you’re working, but save that kind of stuff for after you finish your session. Sugar might give you a boost, but it also burns through your body much faster than protein. Which means you’ll probably crash before you’re finished working. Sticking with a protein-based snack gives your brain power to push through your session. My go-to pre/mid writing snack is a big spoonful of peanut butter (sometimes with an apple).

2) Keep your area distraction free

It’s so easy to get distracted when you’re trying to write. Maybe your ideas aren’t coming as quickly as you’d like, or maybe you just aren’t feeling it that day. Or maybe it’s always hard to get started and stay focused. If this sounds like you, one thing that might help is keeping your work area as distraction-free as possible. If you’ve got a magic eight ball, rubric cube, or Sudoku book, don’t keep them on your desk. In fact, keep as little on your writing surface as possible. If what’s happening outside always pulls your attention, don’t work near a window. This also goes for digital distraction too. Keep your phone out of reach so you don’t habitually check your social media. Maybe even turn off your internet connection altogether if you’re tempted.

3) Silence your phone/computer notifications

Just because your phone isn’t in reach doesn’t mean it isn’t a distraction. You may do a good job keeping your phone out of your area, but that doesn’t mean other people won’t try to contact you. Every time a text, email, or app notification goes off, it’s a creative intrusion. It takes you out of your writing session and back to the real world. Silence your phone and any computer-related notifications that might interrupt your work time.

Of course, completely silencing your phone may not be an option for everyone. Maybe you have kids or older family members you want to be able to reach you in an emergency. If that’s the case, consider making it clear to friends and family that for emergencies they need to call you. Then you can silence all other notifications except for incoming calls.

4) Set a reasonable goal for the session

Goals are important! They keep you motivated. But keep in mind, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and discouraged if you have too much to accomplish in the time you set aside. Personally, I’m a constant over planner. I like to move my projects forward, and I have a habit of trying to tackle too much at once. It’s important for my progress that I’m realistic with myself and that I schedule only what I’m 90% sure I can accomplish in the time I have. This way I stay on track and feel a sense of accomplishment. For more tips on setting reasonable writing goals, check out this post!

5) Consider setting a timer

When you have time set aside to write, it can be so easy to waste. I’ve found setting a timer to be a good way to keep myself going. I make a game with myself to either try to accomplish as much as I can before the timer goes off or to accomplish a certain goal before the timer dings. This trick is especially helpful if I’m drafting and trying to get my word count down as fast as possible. Of course, this is something you should stay away from if the ticking clock is less of a game and just adds more pressure. But if you’d like to learn more about this approach, check out this post!

6) Plan for a break or two

If you set time aside for a long writing session, plan a break or two. According to Psychology Today, breaks can help increase productivity and creativity. Breaks don’t have to be long—maybe 10-15 minutes—but definitely take a minute to get up, walk around, get a snack and refresh. It might be hard to stop if you’re on a roll or if you’re falling behind, but small things like this will help keep you from burning out. Personally, I often try to write two to three thousand words a session, depending on the draft and time available. I give myself fifty minutes to write a thousand words, then take a ten-minute break before I start the next thousand. You’ll have to find a balance that works for you, but if you’re looking for a place to start, maybe give this a shot and adjust as you need to.

7) Don’t Judge Your Writing or Your Progress

Every writing session will bring its own successes and struggles. Do your best not to judge yourself for how well you’re writing or how quickly you’re moving. If at the end of the day you can say that did your best to work hard in the time you had, then you had a good writing day. You may have to rewrite the whole scene later, but you learned that scene didn’t work in your story. You may not have gotten as far as you wanted to, but you moved your story forward. This is winning.

I know it’s frustrating when you don’t write as well as you’d like or when you didn’t get as far as you wanted to (trust me, I KNOW!) but focusing on that adds pressure and stress, which isn’t good for your book. All you can do is show up regularly and put the work in. Later, when you’ve finished your project, you can judge and make notes, but that’s not something you have time for during a writing session. Don’t let judgments hold you back.

I hope this helps you have a successful writing session!

Now it’s your turn: What are some habits you have that make your writing session productive? What habits have you ditched that held you back? Tell me about it in the comments!

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How to Handle Writing Criticism: 6 Writing Tips

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you may have noticed that I do my best to avoid concrete statements. Things like, “X will definitely happen to you,” or “You need to do Y to be successful.” This is largely because so much of writing is going to be unique to the writer. But today I’m making an exception. Because today, we’re talking about writing criticism.

If you ever intend to share your work, you are going to face criticism. There’s no way around it. Not everyone will like what you write. And that’s okay. They don’t have to. But dealing with that criticism might be challenging and, at times, discouraging.

So with that in mind, here are six tips that have helped me successfully navigate the criticism that comes with writing:

1) Learn the difference between critique and criticism

There are some aspects of critique and criticism that overlap, but to me, they have always been two different things. The difference is in the timing and content. Critiques come when you’re still working on your project. During this time you can take the critique in and use it to improve your story. Whereas criticism often comes after the story is complete, so it’s too late to really do anything about the issues your critic is pointing out. Then there’s the content. Typically, critiques don’t just point out problems, they also often offer solutions and suggestions that are intended to help you make your book the best it can be. On the other hand, criticism tends to point out problems and issues without offering solutions or suggestions.

I think this is an important distinction to make because I consider critiques and feedback to be an essential part of the writing process, while criticism is more of an unavoidable evil of sharing your work. (For more on feedback, check out my feedback series! You can find the first post here.)

2) Consider the source

When you do get criticism, the first thing you have to do is consider the source. If the source is not your target audience, there’s no reason to entertain the criticism in any way. For example, I write young adult spy books. One criticism I receive a lot is from parents who aren’t happy to see that there is cursing in my books. There isn’t a lot of cursing, but it’s there.

This criticism doesn’t really mean anything to me because of the source it’s coming from. I can understand why some parents may not want their teens to read a book with cursing in it, but my priority is my audience. I write about teen characters in life-or-death situations for a teen audience. People curse in life and death situations. And as a former high school substitute teacher (and former high school student), I’ve spent enough time around teenagers to know they curse too. Not cursing would be inauthentic and I’d run the risk of having my teen audience tune me out. I chose authenticity for the sake of my audience and it’s a choice I stand by, regardless of any parental criticism I may receive.

It’s not an author’s job to write a book for every reader. If your criticism is coming from outside your target audience, disregard it.

3) Don’t take criticism personally

Writing is often personal, which means it can be hard to separate a criticism of your writing from a criticism of you. But they really are two separate things. And beyond that, just because someone doesn’t get or like your book, doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it’s not the right book for them. As much as it might sting to know that your book didn’t resonate with someone, it doesn’t have to be a reflection of you. Just as it’s not an author’s job to write a book for every reader, it’s also impossible to do so. You will not make everyone happy–which means, you don’t need to try to. And one less person who likes what you write means there’s one less person for you to try to please.

Criticism doesn’t have to be a sole reflection of the writer. It can also highlight an incompatibility between the story and the reader. If it helps, think of your book/reader relationship like friendship. You won’t be friends with everyone you meet, and you shouldn’t want to be. Not only would you end up overextended, but some people just aren’t the right type of friend for you–no matter how nice they may be. The book/reader relationship is the same. If someone doesn’t like your story, it just means the two aren’t a good match. Don’t take that personally.

4) Focus on those who get your writing

Odds are, if you like what you write enough to share it, there will be like-minded people who like it just as much as you do. These people will completely get your story, and they will rush to tell you! This kind of feedback is nothing short of magic. Every time you get a piece of criticism that gets under your skin, go pull up the review or feedback that made you soar. These are your people. Let them be your focus.

5) Stay true to your story

At the end of the day, if you know you wrote a story that feels right, then it doesn’t matter what other people say. Even your biggest fans may hate a decision that you make, but if that’s how the story happens, that’s how the story happens. If you wrote your story any differently than how you believe it’s supposed to be, it wouldn’t ring true, and you wouldn’t be able to execute it in a way that will make your readers any happier. Put your faith in the story you created, not in any negative feedback you may get.

6) Prioritize your own happiness

This is the only thing you can truly control. You cannot control if other people like your book, but you can control if you like the book you’ve written. I have found that it’s really easy to ignore criticism if you are genuinely happy with what you’ve created–at least it is in my experience. Sure, there are things people don’t like about my books, but there isn’t a thing I would change about them. Because of that, what other people don’t like doesn’t bother me. I got so much joy out of writing my books that that’s all I see when I look at them. No one can take that away from me. Not even the harshest of criticism. So, any time you get tough feedback, put the criticism aside and go back to the joy you found when you were writing. That’s what all of this is really all about.

I hope this helps you handle writing criticism!

This post was geared on handling criticism from a writing perspective. If you want more on dealing with criticism in general, check out this article from USA Today.

Now it’s your turn: How do you deal with criticism? Is there any tip or trick that’s helped you? Tell me about it in the comments!

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7 Things to Do When You’re too Drained to Write

7 Activities for when you're too drained to writeI think all writers get too drained to write from time to time. Sometimes life happens and we don’t seem to have the bandwidth for our work. Or sometimes, we just don’t have *it*, if you know what I’m mean. Maybe it’s not quite at a level of burnout, but burnout isn’t too far away. Moments like this tend to go in one of two directions. Either you set your work aside and fall into the trap of consistently not working, or you push through these moments and work anyway–though it often feels like wading through quicksand.

Obviously, the ideal situation would be to find some middle ground. I’ve found that there are a handful of non-writing related activities that can both give my brain a break while making me a better writer.

Without further ado, here are seven activities you can do when you’re too drained to write:

1) Listen to an audiobook

This may just be me, but often if I’m too fried to write, I’m too fried to read. It’s like my brain powers down and can no longer process written words enough to comprehend a story. Instead, I turn to audiobooks. This allows me to experience a story and move through my reading list while still giving my brain a break. And most libraries have a digital audiobook collection. So, if you have a library card, you can download books from your home computer at absolutely no cost.

2) Watch a TV show or movie

Storytelling and character development can be just as dynamic in TV shows and movies as it is in books. If you’re too drained to write or read, try watching a new or favorite show. And if you have the mental energy, watch it through a writer’s lens. Consider what makes the show compelling and what falls flat. Then consider how you can use what you’ve learned in your own work.

3) Listen to music

Step away from long-form stories altogether and let your brain reset with a completely different experience. The music itself will stimulate a different part of your brain, and I’ve found that if I put headphones on and close my eyes–so I tune out the rest of the world and just focused on the music–it can be fairly meditative. If you’re up for it, you can also use this experience to get to know your characters better. Either pick music you think you’re characters would like, or as you move through your playlist, consider which of your characters would like (or dislike) the song your listening to and why. It’s a quick way to get to know your characters a little better while your brain rests. For more benefits of listening to music, check out this article by the HuffPost.

4) Take a walk

Walks are a great way to let your brain do whatever it needs to do. Sometimes when I’m fried, it’s most helpful to let my brain wander and think about whatever it wants to. Other times, I still want to think about my story, just in a less structured way. Regardless, time outside almost always refreshes me and puts me in a good position to work either after my walk or the following day.

5)  Cook or get crafty

Sometimes when my brain is drained, the best way to help it out is to give it something else to focus on. In times like these, I tend to cook, bake, or take a stab at a Pinterest craft. When I fully occupy my brain in this way, it makes it hard for my thoughts to wander back to my book and forces my brain to take some time off. This time away always goes a long way in refreshing my creativity and helping me to come back to my WIP with a fresh mind.

6) Talk with a friend

You can talk about what you’re writing or about anything but what you’re writing. Sometimes I find talking my stories out with a friend to be really helpful, especially when my brain is too tired to write. It’s one way of keeping my story on my mind and (assuming I’m talking to a friend who gets my work) they can often offer me a new perspective that helps me see my story in a different light. On the other hand, when I’m closer to burn out, talking about my book is often the last thing I want to do. In those instances, connecting with a friend can help to recenter me. And even if we’re not talking about my story, there’s every possibility they might say something that will find it’s way onto the page.

7) Sleep and take care of yourself

Blowing off work for sleep and rest may feel lazy, but when you’re brain is tired, it often does legitimately need rest. We live in a society that celebrates people who push themselves beyond their limits for the sake of their passions. And while there is certainly an aspect of that I can respect, it’s not a very sustainable lifestyle, especially given how mentally demanding writing is. Sure, sometimes we need to push ourselves, but sometimes the best thing we can do for our writer brains is to take care of ourselves. Sleeping, eating right, and taking writing breaks are all apart of this. For more tips on how to be a healthy writer, check out this post.

I hope this gives you some good activities to do when you’re too drained to write!

Now it’s your turn: Do you have any go-to activities for when you’re too drained to write? Is there anything on this list you’re excited to try? Tell me about it in the comments!

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Why “Good” Writing Shouldn’t Be Your Priority

Why Good Writing Shouldn't Be Your PriorityOkay, sure. At some point, we have to ask ourselves, is what I’m writing any good?  But that shouldn’t be your priority through most of the writing process. The problem is, “good” really only happens towards the end of the process. The time in between the first and final draft is either “not there yet” or just flat out bad. Your writing won’t be good most of the time, and honestly, it’s not supposed to be. And because of that, if you judge your daily success and progress on if you’re writing well, you may find yourself frustrated and discouraged ninety percent of the time.

So instead of asking yourself if what you’re writing is good, consider these four questions:

Is what I’m writing making me happy?

This is the first question I ask myself at any stage of the process. If writing a story is making me happy then I know it will make someone else happy (eventually). Maybe it isn’t good yet, but if it’s making me happy to create, then I know if I keep at it, it will make someone else happy to read. If it brings me joy, there must be something real and good that I can use to improve it. It may need work. It may not be “good enough” to publish, but if a story is making me happy, then I know I’m headed in the right direction.

This is how I decide if a story is worth writing when it’s in the early stages. The writing might not good, and the story may be inconsistent at times, but if I like writing it, then I know it’s a story worth telling. It’s worth putting the time and energy in to make it as good as it can be. Now, writing is hard and there may be times that I get frustrated, or there may be aspects of the story I don’t like, but as long as I’m not indifferent to it or bored with it, I know I need to keep working.

Would I be a fan of it?

If I wasn’t writing this book, would I be a fan of it? If the answer is yes, then I know I’m doing something right. Because fandoms are a real thing.

How often have you bonded with someone because they have the same taste in books, music, movies, or TV shows as you? Often, you don’t just have one book in common, you have several. If I’ve written a book that I feel like I would be love and want to share with my friends if I hadn’t written it, then I know I’m working on something that has the potential to be great. Is it perfect? No. Will everyone like it? No. But if I can honestly say that I think people who like the same type of entertainment I like will like this book, and I know it’s worth committing to.

And if I find I wouldn’t be a fan of it, then I have to take a hard look at why. Those reasons will become my targets for revision.

Am I telling the story I want to tell?

It’s impossible to know if you’ve written a story others might want to read, but you can decide if you’ve written the story you set out to tell. That’s what’s in your control. I often start writing a book with a core concept I want to convey. I measure my success not by how many people like the book, but by how many people get and appreciate that core concept. If I can say that I told the story I set out to tell and if most readers seem to be understanding the story the way I want them to understand it, then I consider it to be a “good” book. And if my readers aren’t getting what I went them to, then that’s an area I need to focus on in revision.

Is the story the best I can make it?

Every story has room for improvement. Every story can almost always be “better.” But just because it can be better, doesn’t mean that it’s not good. The more you write the better you will get. However, there will come a point with each book where you’ve done the very best you can. Even if the book itself can bet better, you’ve done your best with it. You’ve tapped out your skills. Perhaps an editor or critique partner can give you more suggestions, but it’s safe to be satisfied when you know you’ve done all you can.

Your best is good enough. Maybe it’s not good enough to be published yet, and maybe you can still get better, but if you can feel like you have told the story you’re trying to tell the best that you possibly can, then you should be proud of what you accomplished. You will only get better from here.

I hope this gives you a good idea why good writing isn’t always the most important thing to consider.

If you can get to a place where you’re own approval of your work is your number one priority, it will get a lot easier to keep writing and keep repeating this process until you reach your writing goals–whatever they may be. Negativity and criticism won’t be able to stop you.

Now it’s your turn: What does good writing mean to you? Tell me about it in the comments!

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How a Creative Shift Can Help You: 5 Great Writing Tips

How a Creative Shift can Help your writingI’ve talked a lot on Instagram about how I often have two writing projects going at the same time. I’ve found this creative shift to be an incredibly helpful way to keep my creativity fresh. And while this approach is definitely not for everyone, it’s become an essential part of my writing process.

If you’ve never tried to tackle multiple projects a try before, you might want to think about giving it a shot. However, if balancing two writing projects sounds like too much (or is too much), you might want to consider looking into another form of creativity to try; something you can use to shift your way of thinking while you work on your writing project. This could be painting, photography, design, or even something crafty. It’s easy to get caught up in your story. A creative shift can help refresh and reset your creative mind, which helps to make you the best writer you can be.

With that in mind, here are my top five benefits of a creative shift:

1) It gives your brain a break (especially if your story is being difficult)

It goes without saying that writing a book comes with a handful of problems. Plot and character issues can pop at any moment and they’re not always easy to solve. At times, the more you think about the problem, the harder it becomes to develop a solution. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your story is to take a break to get some perspective. However, stepping away from the problem isn’t always easy. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to take a break and found I couldn’t stop thinking about the issue! Having another project to put all my brain power on forces my mind to focus on something else completely. It gives me some space from my problematic project, and often when I go back to work I find that the problem is much easier to solve.

2) It helps your brain work differently

If your creative shift involves something other than writing, that means you’re tapping into a different part of your creative brain, which I’ve found can help refresh you. If your project does involve writing, I’ve found that I can get the same effect by ensuring my projects aren’t at the same stages. So I make it a point not to be brainstorming both stories or drafting both stories at the same time. I think when we force our brains to tap into the same type of creativity for an extended period of time, it’s easier to get mentally exhausted. However, when we give our brains a different creative task, it gives the overworked part of the brain a chance to recuperate. (This is not at all scientific. It’s just an observation I’ve had based on my own experience.)

3) It keeps you consistently productive

If writer’s block rears its ugly head, or you find that your story is getting intimidating, overwhelming, or out of control, it can be all too tempting to give up on it. But if you have a second project you can shift to, you have the opportunity to take a step back without throwing in the towel. A creative shift may be a key component that keeps you from becoming a quitter. It will allow you to write (or create) every day and stay consistently productive even when your main project is getting the best of you. And like the first point, often when you return from your break, the problems that were holding you back on your original project will seem a lot more manageable.

4) It lets you take a timeout on a project without slacking off

Sometimes, our stories may be in places that are less than ideal. Either we’re stuck on a particular plot point, or maybe we just don’t have “it” that day. Unscheduled days off can be beneficial, but it can be hard to take them without feeling like we should be working. The makes it hard to enjoy the day off, which can, in turn, make it hard to rest our minds the way we need to. Working on a second project can help with this. It allows you to take a break when you’re just not feeling your project without completely slacking off. You’ll still be working and creating–even if it’s not as you planned to be.

5) Take on as many different projects as you want–but don’t overdo it

Okay, this is more a tip than a benefit. While there is no limit to the number of projects you can shift between, I would suggest starting with two and trying not to go above three. Creative shifts can be helpful, but too many could turn you into someone who starts projects but never finishes them. You also run the risk of spreading yourself too thin. As much as a creative shift can be rejuvenating, an overworked brain will burn out. Take on however many projects you need to help your creative process, but be careful not to hurt yourself while you do.

I hope this gives you a good idea of how a creative shift may help you!

Now it’s your turn: Have you tried a creative shift before? If you have, how has it helped? What other techniques help you stay fresh creatively? Tell me about it in the comments!

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How to Talk to Writers about Writing: A Guide for Non-Writers

Talking to Writers about Writing: A Guide for non-writersThis is a post I hesitated to write. I don’t want it to come off wrong or condescending to non-writers, but I (obviously) decided to write it because I have been stuck in far too many conversations with non-writers who just say the wrong things. They often don’t mean to, but that doesn’t change the fact that it happens.

I also decided to write this post because I know that writing is a really weird and unconventional thing to do. It’s also something that, in most cases, is hard to understand unless you’re a writer or creator yourself, which means it can be hard for non-writers to know how to have a conversation with a writer about their work. I hope that this is ultimately helpful and that it’s something writers can share with non-writers (or post on Facebook for their non-writer friends to find).

To the non-writers who have found their way here, welcome! I hope this helps you connect with the writers in your life. But keep in mind, this is just a guide. All writers will like and dislike certain questions. This list comes from my personal observations and conversations I’ve had with other writers, but it’s by no means a definitive set of rules. Also, if you’re a lover of books, movies, stories, and creativity, there’s a good chance you don’t need to worry about any of this. This post is mainly for any non-writer who has felt completely at a loss when talking to a writer about writing.

Without further ado, here are the dos and don’ts of talking to writers about their writing.

The Dos:

Ask about the writer’s current work in progress

I think it’s always okay to ask about a work in progress, but know that some writers don’t like to talk about their work while they’re working on it. If your writer is up for talking about their WIP, you can ask them about the plot, the characters, their writing process, their inspiration, etc. If they’re not up for talking about it, respect that and don’t take it personally that your writer doesn’t want to share. The story may be very personal, or it could be such a disaster that the writer wouldn’t even know where to start. And sometimes, not talking about a WIP is simply a part of the writer’s process.

Ask about/discuss published works

If you know a writer who has a book out, definitely ask them about it. I have yet to meet a writer who doesn’t like to talk about their published work. This includes self-published writers! Ask them the same types of questions you would for a work in progress. You can also ask about the publishing process, working with an editor and things like that. There are very few questions that aren’t okay to ask about a book at this stage. And if you have a writer who has finished a book but hasn’t published it yet, definitely ask them about it too! Celebrate the accomplishment of finishing a book. It’s a big deal, even if it’s not published yet.

Ask about the writer’s general process

Writers write because we love it. Even when it’s going badly, we love it. So taking an interest in a writer’s process is an almost guaranteed way to talk to your writer about their work (even if they don’t want to get into the specifics of what they’re working on). You can ask about their inspiration, their research process, their brainstorming, and drafting. If you’re not much of a writer and feel like you don’t really know where to start, you can simply ask them what their process is. Then ask any follow-up questions as needed.

Accept if your writer doesn’t want to talk

Writing is often very personal and there are plenty of reasons why a writer might not be comfortable talking about any aspect of their work or progress. It’s good to show interest, but please don’t push your writer into sharing if they don’t want to.

Be encouraging

Regardless of how much or little you talk about a writer’s writing, be encouraging. It doesn’t matter if your friend is published or working on their first book. They are living their dream, and they’re taking on a challenge that very few people would ever dare to try. Every published author can point to the people who always believed in them and they can point to the people who didn’t. This is your opportunity to put yourself on the right list.

The Don’ts:

Don’t ask how the work in progress is going

Typically, a book is a mess until it’s not. It may be that it’s bad, or it may be that it’s so far away from what we want it to be in the end. Even if it’s going well and we’re enjoying the process, we often have a crap ton of work ahead of us, which can be frustrating. So talking about how it’s going can be a stressor for your writer. Rest assured, if it’s going well, you won’t have to ask. That kind of information will most likely be volunteered!

Don’t ask how the querying/agent or editor search is going

If you know a writer who finished their book and is going through the process of trying to get their book published, please don’t has how the process is going. This is, quite frankly, the worst part about writing. There is a TON of rejection. Like, on a daily basis. It can be incredibly demoralizing and the only thing worse is having to tell people how often you’ve been turned down. If you know your writer is shopping their book, and you really want to check in, try framing it in a way that shows support. Something like, “You’ll tell me when you have good news to share, right? I know it’ll happen for you.” is perfect. This way you can get a sense of if your writer is still working through this process while letting them know you care and believe in them (and without making them talk about all the rejection sitting in their inbox).

Don’t ask how book sales are

If your writer is published, there’s no reason to ask about book sales. These numbers are largely outside of the writer’s control. Because of that, they can be a source of stress for a lot of authors. Beyond that, what it means to have “good” sales varies from book to book and doesn’t mean very much to anyone outside of publishing. This is another area where if we have good news to share, you won’t have to ask–we’ll share it.

Don’t discredit self-published writers

I was writing for ten years before I signed with my agent and sold my first book. Between the three books I queried, I probably got rejected around 500 times. Despite that, at no point did I ever consider attempting to self-publish. Why? Because self-publishing is HARD. Sure, it doesn’t have the same gatekeepers as traditional publishing, but it has, like, four times the amount of work. Everything businessy and promotional a traditional publisher does for its authors, self-published authors have to do for themselves. And they have to do it without the reach and distributors that major publisher have. They may not have the same vetting a traditionally published author has, but they took their career into their own hands and created the reality they wanted for themselves. That’s not something that should ever be looked down on.

Don’t talk negatively about writing as a career path

This is easily the biggest and most important point on this list. Do not, in any way, for any reason, talk negatively or discourage a writer from writing. Writers live a life in a constant state of uncertainty. We don’t know if what we’re writing is good, we don’t know if what we’re writing will be published, we don’t know if it will make us any money. But we love it. To most of us, that love is worth the uncertainty. And pushing through that uncertainty is key to our success. It is not your job to make us question our goals or directions. Don’t be the reason a future bestseller never gets written. If you can’t find a way to be positive, say nothing. Don’t be negative.

Final thoughts:

It’s okay if you if you don’t get writing and you don’t really want to talk about it. It’s fine to say, “It’s really cool that you write,” and change the subject. In my experience talking about other things we have in common is better than a conversation that’s painful for all involved. As long as you don’t talk negatively about your writer friend’s work/dreams/goals, you should be good to go!

Non-writers, I hope this helps in some way!

Now it’s your turn: Writers, what have non-writers said/done for you that have been super helpful? And what’s one thing you’d wish they’d stop doing? Non-writers, what’s one aspect of writing you just don’t understand? Was there anything I didn’t cover that you’d like to know more about?  Tell me about it in the comments!

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